ICYMI, Part I - Page 2

Before xe can answer, I'm hours away from a good headspace, maybe years. I've left the courthouse after further proceedings in an ongoing revocation case and I'm not even sure where I'll be sitting come summertime, much less the probability I've made any sense with such a long winded question. I'm questioning everything about my own future and trying to concentrate on asking people I deeply respect about their perspectives, maybe in hopes of gleaming some clarity from my bad decisions and the black mold/perpetual urine smell that awaits me in 2/3 verdicts.

"Those having business with the Courts must ensure the safe and orderly use of the Court Facilities. Those having business with the Courts must be able to conduct their business freely, in a safe and orderly fashion, and unhindered by threats, confrontation, interference,  or harassment. The Courts also must provide a secure environment for all who enter the grounds of the Court facilities. The Courts must further minimize activities that unreasonably disrupt or interfere with the orderly and peaceful conduct of hearings and trials and maintain proper judicial decorum by ensuring a neutral forum free of actual or perceived partiality, bias, prejudice, or favoritism."

-2nd Judicial District: County of Denver, Colorado: JO # 26-2-

Officer Y is waiting for me after court:

"Hey Anthony, what's up? You look good, last time you looked a little disheveled.  Decided to Ritz it up for court, eh?" 

He has an asinine discussion with a coworker about meatball sandwiches before leading me to the 7th floor. When we enter his office, he has me put my phone on the desk and turn it off, accuses me of recording calls, is highly combative, and interrupts me every 2-3 words. I sense he's trying to elicit a reaction.   

I'm 2 different people in person and on email. He's exasperated when he asks if I have any other recording devices, looking directly at my crotch as he stands from his chair to peek over the desk and says he wanted to search me but was told that was not allowed. I explain that I never recorded our meetings as I know it is a crime to have recording devices within government facilities and that I said I was keeping records of our meetings, not recordings.  

"I know that's what your lawyer told you to say, but I don't believe you."

When he hears about my new job as a General Manager, he asks: 

"How'd you get that job?"

"Just being me."

"Oh, just being awesome then..."

We talk more about the piss tests and why there were 4 missed UAs in April. Y doesn't believe my excuses, I always have a story. He says that 1000's of people claim they're too sick to test and that if I miss another one there needs to be a note saying I'm bedridden. 

"Just because you have a note saying you're seen by a doctor doesn't mean anything. I can go to the doctor right now and say I have a cold, you know? Doesn't excuse me from showing up for work or taking care of my responsibilities."

I've little interest in trying to counter such a stupid remark. 

"I don't get how quitting drinking can lead to epilepsy anyway."

"Heavy drinking and sudden withdrawal can lead to people developing epilepsy. Do you know there is no cure for epilepsy? Like, do you know the mortality rate for people with epileps-"

"Why would I know that? I saw people having seizures all the time when I worked at the jail and would be fine an hour or 2 later." 

"Uhm, the after effects of a gran mal seizure, which is what I often have, can last anywhere from 6 weeks to permanent impairment of things like motor functions, speech patterns, vision, memory loss, etc. Like, I could go to sleep and not wake up or be walking and pass out and break my neck or fall into traffic."

Y says I always have a story. I ask that we pump the brakes and try to reestablish our prior rapport. He says the missed UAs are what caused the recent friction and asks why I'm upset with the process. When I try to explain that it caused many issues, (namely losing an opportunity at a mail order pharmacy in Greenwood Village), not knowing about an active warrant for 6 months, he checks the computer and let's it slip he learned about the warrant on Dec. 2nd, more than 3 weeks prior to notifying me. Officer Y denies his manipulation of my status with the court, saying that it's my own misunderstanding that lead to a recollection of different timelines, despite contrary email threads. 

He claims my UA schedule was changed because of a missed test on April 1st. Also, he's spoken with my former probation officer; I'm his only DUI case because I was so difficult with Officer Z that I was transferred to him. When I correct him and say I was the one who asked for the transfer, that I wasn't aggressive but I speak plainly, bluntly even, I don't mince words, he backpedals and says:

"Yes, it was granted because you were so difficult. If you want people to like you, if you want people to show mercy on you, maybe you should try not speaking bluntly."

My spirit runs screaming from the interaction. Y claims that if there are no more missed UAs and the other case is dismissed on Jun 11th, he will drop the petition to revoke my probation. He schedules our next meeting for July 1st.

Before I can reach the exit, his nasal Midwestern twang invades my ear canal:

"Don't worry, this will all be over in a couple of months. Hopefully."