by Zeke Jarvis
Lewis looked at the bottle of GetJakked. He knew what it meant, but he also knew the feelings that he had when he looked in the mirror. He didn’t want to feel small and pudgy anymore. He didn’t want other people to suffer, but he didn’t want to suffer himself. Lewis closed his eyes, he said, “You got this,” and he put a pill on his tongue. He knocked it back with a protein drink, and then he dropped to the floor and started doing pushups. He kept doing reps until he felt like he couldn’t do any more. Then he flipped to his back and started doing sit-ups. Crunches first. After that, Lewis, stood and did some squats. After all that, he went back to pushups, then he started things over again.
By the time that Lewis was done with his circuits, he was exhausted. He laid on the floor, feeling spent. After a little bit, Lewis stood and headed to his shower. He beat on his chest as he turned the water on. “You got this,” Lewis said, as he stretched in the shower. Lewis’s head was spinning. He did his best to clean himself and rinse off, then he dried himself off. Lewis ate dinner and quickly fell asleep in his recliner.
When Lewis woke up, he still felt exhausted. He couldn’t remember specifics, but he felt like he’d done something awful. Lewis tried to decide if he should or shouldn’t dwell on what might have happened while he was sleeping. Instead of deciding, Lewis started stretching. He tried to reach back to see if the events of the night came through. There were flashes: biting through bone here, gouging out eyes there, and lighting fire to shit. Lewis felt depressed by this.
He bent over to stretch to his toes. He got a sense of what his body meant here. As Lewis tried to focus, he saw a different version of himself doing terrible things. He was using a long fingernail to slice people’s necks. He was seeing large hands choking people out. Lewis shivered a bit. “Fuck,” he said.
Lewis felt trapped. If he kept up with GetJakked, he’d become a full-time monster, incapable of anything but evil. If he quit GetJakked, he’d go back to being a pudgy loser. He didn’t know what to do. Lewis was turning it over in his mind when he drifted off to sleep.
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