Read or Listen

“The Pope’s a real hit with the Attic crew,” McNulty informs the Sardine with a some vague sense of delight. “Even Honey likes him.” 

Tell her he’s the Wal-terr of Popes. 

“He’s stolen your gig. He went on a Vacation.” 

Vacation from what? The crypt?

“Same as yours from the tin can. He didn’t seem the type, though, to be attracted to tourist traps.”

The Time Share salespeople can be very persuasive, even when you don’t need one.

“Turns out when the Pope’s here, you’re taking a vacation from A Sardine on Vacation.”

The difference, my old and wise friend, is that he actually took a vacation. My “vacation” is the abandoning of society’s imperatives, one of which encourages us to go on vacation.

“Not the kind of distinction Joe and Frank would or could make.”

Sixtus operates under false pretenses. If everyone wants to listen to the story of his travels or the glories of his Papacy, I can’t stop them.

“It’s their way of un-knowing the Sardine.”

Perhaps it’s working out as I imagined, my process of elimination. It’s being done for me.

“Did you even find out what you and the Pope have in common?”

Not interested.

“He must be here for a good reason. Why didn’t he appear in the earlier Sardine columns?”

How come you’re not with the others? Sitting around His Holiness while he pontificates about the Borgias or goes on about his travels?

“He told us about the plot to kill the Medici brothers.”

Did he finally take full responsibility? 

“He left that to his so-called nephews.”

He’s deluding himself if he believes his account of his Papacy would change the public’s mind about him?

“Maybe. What have you got there?”

William Manchester’s A World Lit Only by Fire.

“Honey bought me the audio book.”

You listened to it! Not the same as reading.

“Not much difference. Sort of like medieval times listening to stories. What do you have against audio books?”

Reading should be a singular activity. You listened to a lot of it when you were driving in your car.

“It’s for people who don’t have much time.”

You’re nearly retired.

“It’s nice when you’re doing nothing, like driving.” 

You have to pay attention to the road.

“Same as listening to a radio.”

It’s a book. Needs more concentration than listening to “Beat It” or “Stairway to Heaven”.

“In my case, book text is hard on my eyes.”

You want hard on the eyes, try Black Lamb and Grey Falcon. Or Women and Men. Over 1100 pages. And small print.

“Ever think of making A Sardine on Vacation an audio book? It has lots of dialogues.” 

I would have, but publishers are keen on their audio products following large hard copy sales.

“You said you were against audio books,” Joe T. breaks in.

Against listening to them.

Logged-In Public: You’re probably against Kindle books.

I own a Kindle. Hundreds of books in it.

“How can you like one and not the other?”

The Sardine has stopped buying hard cover and paperback books. No more room for them. Don’t buy newspapers or read them digitally.

“I feel more comfortable with the book in my hands,” McNulty says.

You listen to books.

“I meant when I read hard copy books.” 

How long do I have to hear that anti-Kindle gripe?

“As long as I hear your anti-audio book gripe.”

L-I P: If we read books, they would be digital.

That means you didn’t read A Sardine on Vacation?

L-I P: We read it in Unlikely Stories.