A Sardine on Vacation
Bob Castle, a.k.a A Sardine on Vacation has regularly published articles for Bright Lights Film Journal since 2000 and in 2020 his novel, The Hidden Life, was published.
Did I believe I was a good man? We all believe that we are good, to some extent. As Pope, I did what needed to be done. I disappointed posterity and wouldn’t have it any other way.
Indulgences had never been better, especially after we marketed the new splinters from the true cross. With the additional foreskins from John the Baptist. . .which reminds me of a joke I made up.
Actually, the review praised a Sardine favorite. But it got the movie all wrong. The reviewer talked about the director, writers, and actors as celebrities and potential award winners. Little was said about the meaning or nature of the movie.
My greatest legacy, the Sistine Chapel, would not have built without creative financing – nor would my nephew’s hiring of Michelangelo to paint the ceiling been possible – and given the tourists something to marvel over.
During his period as a senior member of the Franciscan Order there is clear evidence that Francesco della Rovere fathered several illegitimate children through a number of affairs, including a son, Giuliano della Rovere (later Pope Julius II) born out of incest with his sister Raffaele della Rovere (1423-1477)...
The Internet is passé. It’s the day before the day before yesterday when it comes to communicating with the public. You have to think smaller and more quickly. 140 characters at a time.
The stranger finishes his Campari. “I should’ve expected this. Two cable series, at the same time, on that louse, Alexander VI.” He pauses. “I pre-dated that Borgia prick by thirty years. My family, the Riarios, put the kabash on Roderigo and Cesare.”
The world is a conglomeration of over two hundred nations, many of which are barely functional, and even the most established nations have many, many problems.
Audrey Rose: Who’s this Sardine you’ve been writing about the last week?
Jackson Andrews: Joe already explained who he was.
Paul Peterson: I remember him mentioning it. The Sardine’s a moron.
Joe T.: Maybe you should unfollow me, Paul.
Generally, we’re all useless bystanders to the events happening around us or that we’re involved with. Anything significant goes on behind our backs. As if we’re programmed to ignore all the bad crap that happens in our lives.
When the Sardine speaks outside this column, nothing he says can be taken at face value. Nothing he says he really means. Half the time he’s quoting from movies, and half the time he’s quoting movies completely out of context.
“Instead of writing new Sardine articles, you should re-make the original book,” Joe T. interrupts my thoughts.
Really, who would publish, let alone read, this type of article in a newspaper? The column’s concept had developed in isolation from the public it had wished to attract. He was sorry for dreaming up the project.
Worse, the Today Show and Newsweek have contacted the Sardine for interviews, which the reticent fish wants to blow off. Also, the less the column has to say, the more intensely the nation’s readers have accepted it.
At first, he wanted to be part of the Sardine’s crew and be known by hundreds of thousands of people – and maybe more if the rumor about a television series had validity. This single-minded desire had kept him going through the barren days when he met hundreds of people who had never heard of the column...
