Spelled out so clearly
like I’m begging, and you’re on the receiving end,
and god damn isn’t this enough, Taylor?
Isn’t me acknowledging you,
your struggles with your brain and all its misfires,
And, “Other students struggle too, Taylor.”
And you hear me
No, I take that back –
You SEE me
because I’m mostly just silence
in a room of guppies who want nothing more than to be seen Heard
And why the FUCK can’t I make myself louder?
Why can’t I scream like the voice in my head does?
Like the voice you use to tell me ISN’T THIS ENOUGH DAMMIT?
Enough to be in this room with people who look Nothing like me,
But others have survived it so why can’t I?
This is the way things are
And nothing changes.
Nothing’s enough – not my badge of (dis)honor,
Brazenly revealing to all that I am an inconvenience.
No, nothing’s enough for the beast that waits to evaluate us.
Taylor Thomas (she/her) is a biracial & bisexual emerging writer from Indiana. Her work has been published or forthcoming in Bayou Magazine, Salt Hill Journal, The Journal, So to Speak Journal, and more. She received the Outstanding Literary Essay award from Voices of Diversity in 2021. She currently attends the University of Notre Dame's MFA in Creative Writing. She lives in South Bend, Indiana with her husband, Herschel, and her dogs, Bella & Buster.