"Ain't No Sorry," "Where Camo Is a Primary Color," and "Poverty Mongers"

Ain’t No Sorry

Growing up in Mní Sota
us kids took field trips
to Fort Snelling
to learn about
“our history”
that’s where workers
in old timey garb
made candles and
the towers had
slits for windows
so muskets could protect
the confluence
that’s what we
were told
            not the fact
that this was a concentration camp
where 1700 Dakhóta men
women   children
were marched to and starved
if not lynched
which isn’t something
you can dwell on
those visions of ribs
in sickening winter
the scalping of
it’s enough to make
a Jew puke
but as always
we soldier on.



Where Camo Is a Primary Color

“Yo bro,
you ever had a calzone?”
            I heard some dude
            ask another
            at the dog park
“Nah Brah,”
            he replied
“It’s like a pizza
but all sealed up.
Had one the other day
it was sick, bro!”
“No way, brah
That’s fucked up!”
their conversation soon fizzled
Russia invaded Ukraine
and the world returned
to normal.



Poverty Mongers

when you only have four channels
you end up watching
certain shows
like this pawnshop show
after the news
starring a cast
of witty white characters
in an inner city 
crack neighborhood
the clientele come in
with sketchy stories
about some piece of crap
weed whacker
or a watch or
a faux gold ring
only to start
a shouting match
ending with Security
throwing someone’s
ass in the street
            no thirty bucks
            no nothing
while safe inside
a family of chuckling chuckleheads
shakes its righteous head
clearly thinking
How can people be that way?
Is there no decency?
Oh the shit
              we gotta put up with…

but that’s what draws
viewers in
plus cruelty
being a formula for
as long as there
are mouths to feed.



Mark Spitzer

Mark Spitzer is the author of 31 books, most recently the edited collection Best of the Sucks from MadHat Press. He can be seen on reruns of the "Alligator Gar" episode of River Monsters or hiking around in the Shawangunk Mountains of New York State with his dog. Currently a professor somewhere in Arkansas, but probably not for long. For more info, visit sptzr.net. Mark recommends UAnimals.


Edited for Unlikely by Jonathan Penton, Editor-in-Chief
Last revised on Monday, October 10, 2022 - 22:09