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I'll Never Tell Ammunition can be a terrible, nasty thing. There was one phrase that was embedded in my Hollywood mind, like fireworks and forged prescriptions, "Don't tell anyone about this." It became a mantra, a chant, an afterthought that followed the admission of guilt, the deeply scarred confession or the revelation that all was not as it appeared to be. And my response was always assuring and so convincing, that it often led to a trust of some sorts and gave way to the divulging of even more wicked information. "I'll never tell." I'll never tell that an actress had a fiancÚ, a boy faced teen heart throb, and he went to Miami and fucked a hooker and his best friend ratted him out and the girl was left broken hearted and as a result, her career went nowhere but she slept with half of Hollywood trying to elevate herself above the status of a once loved bride-to-be. I'll never tell that a certain Latin lover boy is a bisexual cocaine freak whose hobbies include date rapes and violent sex and to the rest of the world he is portrayed as a kind and giving person but in truth, I spent a weekend with him and the silly man couldn't even get it up until I showed him an airbrushed picture of himself. I'll never tell that the majority of the men I met - even the ones with wives - preferred the company of boys and while they convince the public that they are macho, sensitive and indefinitely heterosexual, the whole thing is a sham and is one of the longest running jokes in Hollywood. Believe me, I bear the battle scars left behind by a few too many nameless names who tire themselves with exhausting secrecy and shame and "it's all part of the game". But I will tell you this: while I pride myself on being a true, trusted friend, I learned something in the drug-induced trenches of cocksucking starlets and closeted cover boys: confidentiality is a rare but valued quality, so if you piss somebody off, the everlasting affects of literary revenge can be just as rewarding as a well-guarded secret and a two-year contract. Because like Hollywood, ammunition is a terrible, nasty thing.
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