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pure stank I didn't notice how bad her breath stank until I tried to kiss her. up until that moment the blind date had been going relatively well. meeting her, I was pleased to find she was not at all deformed and was able to communicate without grunting and pointing. then in my Buick after the forgettable movie I decided to put my lips to her lips and discovered her tongue tasted like a puppy had shit in her mouth. I drove directly to the nearest gas station. inside I purchased a pack of spearmint gum and two ribbed unlubricated condoms back in the Buick I offered her the gum. surprisingly, she demurred. "have a stick" I prodded. "I don't chew gum." "make an exception." "no." "take the fucking gum." "I told you no." "then get the fuck out." exasperrated, she stepped out and I floored the gas, fishtailing onto the Boulevard, leaving her stank ass behind my dad always told me if the top end smells bad the bottom's always ten times worse.
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