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pure stank

I didn't notice how bad
her breath stank until
I tried to kiss her.

up until that moment
the blind date had been
going relatively well.
meeting her, I was pleased
to find she was not at all
deformed and was able to
communicate without
grunting and pointing.

then in my Buick after the
forgettable movie I decided
to put my lips to her lips
and discovered her tongue
tasted like a puppy had
shit in her mouth.

I drove directly to
the nearest gas station.
inside I purchased a
pack of spearmint gum
and two ribbed
unlubricated condoms

back in the Buick
I offered her the gum.
surprisingly, she demurred.
"have a stick" I prodded.
"I don't chew gum."
"make an exception."
"take the fucking gum."
"I told you no."
"then get the fuck out."

exasperrated, she stepped out
and I floored the gas,
fishtailing onto the Boulevard,
leaving her stank ass behind

my dad always told me
if the top end smells bad
the bottom's always ten times worse.

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