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mental taxation
emotional frustration
like kids nobody wants
brandishing taunts that tease
and no way to please
that beast
that bitch
bustin' up a newly hemmed stitch
in my psyche

if there were only some magical way
to turn intimidation into inspiration-
ya know, rather than sayin'

"he intimidated me"

sayin' instead

"he inspired me"

perpetuated me to see things previously hidden
and thoughts that had slidden round ears
while eyes were watchin' a mirror again
probing tender roots of soul
that take time and patience to grow
with hot pokers of

"how ya measure up?"
"where ya on the scale"

frail freedom assaulted again
by the presence of
another competent human being

and i say


when am i ever gonna get it
that i already measure up?
that luck sucks dicks of tricks
already in line,
and there ain't never
any excuse good enough
not to offer mine

le' me say that again:

there ain't never
any excuse good enough
not to offer mine

frame these thoughts that
tend to stray
with memories of tragedy
held at bay
by a force that holds its course
in any weather
that's tougher than leather
and up in my cap
like a feather-
soft to touch
any time i need

evening blush across my cheeks

(i will not bleed)

as i walk up to the man apologetically
and say,

"hey mister-you inspired me!"

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