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Dr Katz Psychiatrist
Part 1: True Dreams
Dear doctor
I really enjoy your show
your representations of human 
nature are so accurate,
can you please briefly
comment on  or interpret
the following recent 
dreams & what they 
may reveal about me 
& my relationship
with my girlfriend? 
Iím in a bookshop flipping
through an 1834 illustrated
book of the moon (no shit)    
tinged brown fantastical images 
turning page after page  
the train arriving-
Iím slowly dancing
holding my wifeís head
to a Barry Manilow 
song ĎWhat the World
Needs Now is Love Sweet
Loveí but itís not actually
her head Iím holding
she is seating  nearby
watching us
playing cricket my partner
bowls me a wicked bouncer
& I hit it hard baseball style
in the middle of the bat    I watch
the white ball soar-  growing smaller
dissolving into the blue & then 
re-emerging falling 
highlighted against
a steep rocky outcrop 
flecked with
orange ochre
I accidentally stumble upon
a group practicing yoga sex
legs twisting incongruently into the air
a panting synchronised orgy 
a muscly female suggests that if I tongue her
sheíll return the favour
I get down & lick & bob & suck
her sweet virginal hole
eventually dry humping her without success-
she gets up & she is actually a he
he says that he has already blown off nine guys that day
& refuses to suck me off
he recommends a cream to rub on my dick
to prevent infection
I walk to the Chemist
& apply a liberal amount of the substance on my prick
I read the label
& realise the cream is a kind of super glue
which would leave me with a permanent but unfeeling erection-
I find a public toilet
& desperately begin scrapping off the glue in a basin
with the side of a pair of scissors
an old man comes in & starts laughing
we have a wild party afterwards-
she is vacuuming the aboveground pool
with an ordinary household vacuum
carrying it above her head 
like a World War 2 Marine
a sausage dog is frantically swimming behind her
attached to a chain-
it starts yelping
& then its head gradually submerges
she yells to us to jump in to save it
fully clothed I dive in
my glasses hit the water
all becomes murky
your early considered response
would be greatly appreciated 
yours sincerely
Mark List

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