Why Have I Been Silent?
by Derick Varn

For those who are regulars at Unlikely Stories, it may be apparent that haven't written any new editorials or literature for public consummation in two months. September 11th, 2001 has been part of this malaise; however, it would be foolish to blame an international event solely. My world, like everyone's world, is changing. Perhaps the knowledge that my recent 21th birthday has left me hazed over for the past two weeks would help this make sense. Perhaps a glimpse at failing relationships in my life would make the colors of my words become clearer. Ultimately, however, these things are personal. It may be every author's vanity--and to a lesser degree every person's--to believe others care about their problems, their expressions, their essence... The list of inner-worldly concepts that a writer would like to believe matters to others goes on ad nauseam. Like most vanity; however, this is, more often than not, just narcissism.

So let's begin with September 11th, 2001. There are many, myself include, who believe that the reaction to these events are the first sign of the times. Yet the reactions are not clear cut for those who try to be fair-minded. Blind nationalism is dangerous. For examples of this see North American, circa 1860s; Hungary, circa 1910s; Soviet Union, circa 1920s, British Empire, circa 1870's, etc. Yet passivism seems both cowardly and dangerous now. Although there are many who believe war is wrong no matter the cause, I cannot follow the logic that we should not effectively battle those battle who killed over 6000 people.

It's hard to view these things in the abstract, and even harder to make decisions on them. There is no excuse for what happened September 11th; however, it would be foolish to say there were not plenty of warning signs. I have written a poem about similar events over a year ago. There are tons of books on Foreign Islamic and Native Christian fundamentalist groups doing similar things. But it would be a feat of self-loathing I don't understand to justify what has been done against us in some sort of divine judgment scenario. No clear vision for me to articulate. On one hand the Bush administration's propaganda that does not attack Islam is been even-handed; however, continued use of the lexicon of religion such as "good," "evil," and "God bless America" make me doubt that this does not have some theological context. I feel that it is this sort of confusion that makes it hard to be a writer. A writer is supposed to communicate, but when he/she is confused it almost impossible to write. It would be an unnatural act of surrender to fall to these urges... so I am writing now.

Hopefully, as time unfolds, so will my direction. For now, however, it is the act of thinking and acting clearly that makes up the bane of my existence.

Derick Varn is a poet and longstanding contributor to Unlikely Stories. Check out his literary works at this site.