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virgin scenes

virgin-a suitor
(bell chimes, door knocking
(a man enters
suitor-i have come to pop your cherry
virgin-let me show you my diary
(suitor reads
suitor-you are truly a female poet
virgin, blushing-oui
suitor-i will slap your ass
virgin-teehee
(he chases her in circles
she throws a roasted turkey at him knocking him down
she drags him into the closet and locks the door
suitor-hey

*
virgin-a suitor

(bellchimes, door knocking
suitor-dear missus i have brought you a sausage
(he hands her a giant sausage with a hungry look
in his eye, she sets it aside
virgin-i am a whore a whore a whore-ibble dancer
(she prances around in circles
suitor-come to my arms you wretched slut
virgin-tee-hee-hee
suitor-virgin i have brought you a ziploc baggie of my shit
virgin-damned dirty sexy man come and stick it in my aperture
(he chases her in circles with a baggie of shit
she grabs a swan by the neck striking him
(a pimp walks in
pimp-hey virgin i can smell your dumplings burning
(the suitor stabs the pimp

*

virgin-a suitor
(the bell chimes knocks at the door
bumpkin-i brought you a pumpkin
virgin-oh you smell of horses and posies
bumpkin-this is not a pumpkin
virgin-have a spot of tea
bumpkin-i just came all over the place
virgin-what picture
(he shows her a picture of a smiling man putting a broomstick up his ass
virgin-a pervert come fuck me
(the bumpkin heaves the pumpkin at her it breaks she falls
bumpkin-you dog
(he runs away crying
she follows
virgin-come back you slut
bumpkin-no
the dead pimp-this is all very tiresome

exeunt

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