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Ambulance it wasn't so bad i want to say i know what it is to be alive, i've tasted it. while others gulped a lifetime, while others bought & sampled little sips, how exquisite, acquaintances, bosses, whores, rats & judges fall away now. auto-piloting through each vague & useless point on the anxiolytic map. soft as a baby's ass i landed on the back of my affairs with naive joy, some turned bitter & difficult to bear. others grew heart & many heads beautiful, no calculating the fighting, the flailing, hope, thinking, emoting this syrupy suicide, this inward gallop this killer of time & most things confused. friends, this was damn great sometimes. i learned the mind hails a serious instrument. gone amok in blood-lust oblivion, i got the joke & laughed laughed laughed though i was fingered as the culprit, i cried wolf, i took the blame & blamed all out loud. i heard love in its extroverted mutations, in its intimate vibrations. learned time bleeds memory. led to slaughter by conscience erasure, some sort of purgatory, remembering the past, snatches of time stacked, bits of dialogue swept away to a far corner like mouse turds & i wait. tic-tic-tic, menial hours drop like punctuation from a bloated sentence. some righteous riots, some foolish laments such as this, just a break in the profundity of a life mired in wishes wishes wishes. i scored big at times & its almost over & that's not so bad. a door is opening, a feast appears, how sweet sweet sweet i do hope it is to taste my just dessert.
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