radio driven psychotic movies urges
an unoriginal liquor store hold up or
lying next to vegas hotel with a
margarita in one hand and an ice pick
in the other sometimes she'd forget her address
pass out on her ex-boyfriend's lawn
those were the only numbers
she could remember once we threw all
her books away in a truck stop dumpster
our existence torn with the hell of
another cheap high from a
one night a week love
funny he can never look me in the eye
one more 3:30am victory and one more
restless sleep in my own arms
august melted into cool september
blinding lights and her screams
eyeliner and the first scar
winds blew colder
a window i can't open
first love secrets uncovered
october's rainy tempting nights
a letter i can't find
the inner scar and lockdown
november comes in the form
of a different uniform
day after day and another
long sleeved shirt
day after day and another
near death experience
december and lovers come then go
memories of strange days
in the threads of this sweater
i am alive i survived
december will blow to january
year after sordid year
my eyes start to glow and
i feel the faded remembering
edwin chased razor blades with pinesol
miguel is a chronic masturbator who said
come with me, you want to do sex?
miriam punched me twice, hard
i took lithium and klonopin
with no one to stop me but myself
and now i'm sitting here with these
ghosts
i can't even call so you can
laugh at me
while i wear the pajama pants
the woman who read us our vows wore
800 miles and three suicide attempts
(one successful, two not)
away from a beautiful day in march
ten years ago we thought
crazy could be cured
now the man has become the myth
and the woman has been left a widow
Win Harms lives in Lille, France now but has knocked around the United States and Europe as well as some psych wards. She has been published in several anthologies and many online journals. Her first book, in harms way, is available from Barncott Press. Now that she had entered her tame thirties, she spends most of her time writing and doing needlework while her husband reads history books.
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