There's a knock at the door. She forces herself to sit up and gives permission for the person to enter.
The door opens widely. In the threshold is the epitome of male beauty: a tall man most likely in his early thirties, good posture, sapphire blue eyes, a full head of black hair curling beneath his collar, a sturdy figure, but not heavy set. And then he speaks and his voice is graceful, genteel yet with a rough edge that Ludmila finds intriguing. He's the coachman who ferried her from the Underworld to this limbo.
She looks at him questioningly.
"I do hope you're feeling better, miss."
"Yes, thanks. Won't you come in? I'd like to thank you and uh…oh dear!"
"What is it?"
"I can't repay you…for the lodgings."
"Not to worry. You might be able to help me out in other ways." He walks towards the bed.
Ludmila realizes she is uncovered and still just in the threadbare nightshift.
"Dimitri Rosinov, mademoiselle and you?"
"Lu..um…." She doesn't want to be the same person she was in her village. She doesn't want to be told she has to go back to the mindless life she was leading. She needs to reinvent herself; she needs time to come up with a name, a new identity. "I'm not sure I should tell you just yet."
"A woman of beauty who is also mysterious. What could be more enchanting? It is my pleasure to meet you." He bows and then takes her hand in his and brings it to his lips. His warm, wet lips.
Ludmila feels a shiver run through her, right down to the centre of her torn white underpants.
"Would you like to join me for a very late breakfast?"
She has no idea what time it is and she doesn't care. She nods, not able to find her voice and then puts her feet down onto the worn carpet. She winces as she puts weight on her feet.
He rushes to her side as she crumples like a rag doll and almost hits the floor.
He picks her up gently and sets her back on the bed.
"I'll get the medic with some salve for those feet. You must have traveled far."
She is sore and exhausted, but strangely excited, oblivious to the reasons for her escape. "Not yet, but I will. I will."
He leaves her then, gets the salve himself. When he returns she's fast asleep. He gently rubs salve into her cracked and blistered feet. He watches her while she sleeps. She looks so innocent, virginal. He sits in a chair near the bed and watches her chest rising and falling.
Once more she's pulled down the sheet, and the nightshirt has risen. She must have removed her underwear at some point. Now he can see her bare hairy cunt. He should leave. He doesn't want her catching him aroused and watching her, but he can't resist. He sits in the chair, spreads his legs to accommodate his swollen balls.
He knows he could talk this one into a fuck. He could get that easily, but he wants more from her. She isn't just any slut. And he knows it, or does he? He thinks she's the one who's going to make his dreams come true. He strokes his cock silently through his pants as she slumbers. He imagines straddling her face, making her suck his cock. He figures she'd be a great cocksucker. She has lush lips, and that shining white blonde hair of hers so pure and rare in this place where women are brown-haired and mole like. The girl is angelic. An angel doing the devil's work. That's what would sell.
She tosses and turns in her sleep. His erection is painful now, but he knows he has to leave. He can buy a slut down the street, lean her over a barrel and release himself into her ass. That's what he needs now: a tight little ass. He leaves quickly.
Ludmila is dreaming. The beautiful coachman is making love to her. She and Askot never fully consummated their relationship. That was to wait until their marriage. No other man has touched her below the waist. Yet in her dream, Dimitri spreads her legs. She's heard that there is pain the first time, but she feels nothing but fullness inside her as Dimitri gently penetrates her. He smells of the sea and maybe the mountains.
As she awakes she finds herself wondering where he's from: is he tundra or marsh, mountains or sea? He doesn't seem barren like Askot, who is from the Steppe, but rich and mysterious like the Caspian Sea. She remembers her grandfather, telling her stories of the Romini who traveled across the land…gypsies from exotic places. India. His face is dark. He could be of Indian ancestry she realizes. She's never seen anyone from anywhere but her own village. She's seen drawings and postcards of gypsies though.
She is suddenly in a rush to empty her bladder. Under the bed she finds a commode.
Dimitri is about to knock. Luckily the walls are thin so when he hears the sound of piss hitting porcelain, he waits. He imagines her squatting on the floor over the commode. Her nightshirt lifted, her legs spread, the piss rolling off her cunt lips down into the crack of her ass. He thinks of the prostitute he just fucked. He picked one with dirty brown, almost blonde hair. But she wasn't anything like the girl. She was old, well used. The girl's cunt would be tight and her sex lips wouldn't be all droopy. He thinks of that ass again. Maybe he'd get her to let him use that.
She'd still be a virgin. He's sure she's still untouched. He can spot a virgin a mile away. Perhaps he can even smell them. Something so arousing about the unexplored, the hymen to be broken, pushed through. His cock is hard once more.
Ludmila finishes up, wipes her hands on a nearby towel and notices that her feet feel quite a bit better. She smells some kind of menthol scent and understands that the kind coachman has rubbed her feet.
She hears a knock and rushes to open the door to find Dimitri standing there. Unable to help herself, she rushes to the door and embraces him. This is a man she can trust. She feels so happy that she's found him. He has brought her a change of clothes and some sweet hot chocolate and black bread.
As she sits and eats, dipping her bread in the chocolate, she tells him about herself, gives him her name, talks about her need to be different, to change her life, her fiancé and friend's betrayal. She can't quite understand the look in his eyes, but smiles and offers him a taste of her bread. His mouth takes the bread from her hand and lingers there. The pulse of her wrist beats against his lips. She is like a butterfly, about to take wing. He has to capture her, fast. He wants her, feels his cock straining against his pants.
Suddenly he rises and rushes out the door before saying anything, leaving her gasping.
She doesn't know what she's done wrong. Maybe she was too forward. She wants to make amends. Changing into the outfit he's brought: a stable boy's pants and shirt, along with some men's underpants, she wants to rush out and try to follow him, but when she opens the door she isn't so sure she should. She doesn't want to get lost. The dark comes early. She feels afraid and silly. So much for escaping. She feels like a child and climbs beneath the covers, wishing for Dimitri to make it all better.
He paces outside in the stable where his horse is resting. He thinks of leaving the girl. It's too easy. She trusts him already. The look in her eyes, so open, so vulnerable. But he's had vulnerable women before. He calms down. Remembers Svetlana, the rich girl from Minsk. He played the lean and hungry aristocrat for her and she ate it up. He left her somewhere in Siberia, now he figures she's probably in Irkutsk, selling herself to noblemen who pay her in fool's gold.
He remembers when he was seduced by Berthe, a woman twenty years his senior. He was in his early twenties, hadn't lost his own virginity yet. There'd been no time for that on the farm where he worked for his father. He was dead tired. But then Berthe had visited his mother. He'd seen her before, many times and even thought about her big tits while he masturbated in his cot, careful not to wake his brothers and sisters who slept nearby. He was a romantic then, thought he loved her. So he confessed it to her and she didn't disappoint, taking his cock inside her like it was meant to be there. Hours of love making in the stables, furtive quick stroke sessions in his cot while the others were out. She told him her husband hit her, that she needed to get away. He worked extra hours for a neighbor, made money, enough for them both to get away, run away together as they discussed endlessly in post coital chats. And then handed it to her. She left early one morning without even saying goodbye.
She'd been as dazzling as fool's gold, and just as fake. He vowed then never to love again, never to let his heart be fooled again. Yes, he could use the girl and not look back. He'd make sure of it. A picture of her naked cunt flashes through his mind and he licks his dry lips.
He returns to the room and finds the girl crying. He takes her in his arms and hushes her, comforts her with kisses all over her body. She tells him she wants to make love to him. He tells her he doesn't want to take advantage of her, that he knows she must be a virgin.
"Yes," she says. "How did you know?"
"You are radiant with innocence. I don't want to spoil it."
"But I want to give it to you."
"You have to save that. I'll help you find the right man, a rich man who'll take care of you. I'm just a poor coachman."
"We can live. I know we can. We can survive. I think I love you."
"Darling sweet girl. I'll take care of you, but you know, I have no money. I think there's another way I can help us. For now, let me just hold you."
She isn't really listening to his words anymore, she wants to be held, wants his naked skin against hers. She takes off her clothes as he watches. Her body is perfect, not too slim or boney. She's got a few curves and her ass is so full, he wishes he could lick it and touch it, shove himself inside it. When she gets in bed and turns to the wall, he takes off his clothes except for his underwear and climbs in between the warm sheets.
The two of them fall asleep, well at least, Ludmila does. Dimitri is awake, trying hard not to fuck the girl, keeping his arms around her. He knows he needs to get her to trust him, but it's damn impossible not to at least take his cock out and cum all over her back as he spoons against her.
It's a long night.
He spends his wakeful hours making plans. Tomorrow they will meet up with his friend, Josef. Josef isn't really a friend, but he's useful. He can arrange easy transportation across seas, grease the palms of corrupt border guards and even find a few men to try Ludmila out. But first, Dimitri will invest some initial outlay in her clothes, make up, perfume. He just has to find a way to make her think that a slut's wardrobe is the attire of a seductress. And he has to convince her that she wants to be a seductress. And of course, he has to seduce her first.
The thought arouses him even more. He's not going to take her virginity, not her vaginal virginity anyway. He reaches over and lightly caresses the small of her back, which is pressed tightly against him. His cock lengthens, hardening against her ass. He knows his cock needs that asshole. He could take her right there, while she was sleeping, but then she'd leave tomorrow and he'd never see her again.
The sun comes out, heating the room. Ludmila wakes. A stiff cock is pressed against her back. She wants it. She lifts her ass. Dimitri wraps his arms around her and pulls her toward him. They haven't spoken a word. She knows he wants her. Perhaps if she can get him to take her maidenhead, he'll marry her. But she doesn't want children. She thinks again of the string of snot nosed brats in her village, the tired eyes of the mothers. No one even calls them by their names anymore, just Mother Dragonavitch, Mother Pietriov. It's disgusting.
"Dimitri," she whispers, her back still toward him.
He moans and continues to hump against her. She knows he's a man of the world and that's what she wants, who she wants.
"How can I please you? I don't want babies, Dimitri."
His hands reach around her hips to her wet cunt. He slides his fingers gently inside and she tightens, afraid.
"Ssssh, darling Ludmila. I'm not going to take your maidenhead, but I can still please you and you can please me, just let your body go, let me take you. Trust me, sweet girl. Let me show you."
Ludmila is tense but aroused at the feeling of his fingers inside her. He takes them out and flicks them over the small bud of flesh at the top of her inner lips.
"Caress yourself there for me, Ludmila."
She finds his fingers and he moves so she can feel the bud. She's never touched herself there before. It's a shock. It feels so good, tingly. She knows somehow to be gentle. She smells her sweet scent from Dimitri's hand. She's embarrassed, realizes she's dripping.
Dimitri moves his hand back. She can feel his cock, still hard, but now his fingers are also there, against her back, curling. She realizes he's pumping his cock. Her hips move as she fondles her swelling bud. She's full of languor, her lower lips opening like a flower in the hot sun. A drop of something wet and sticky oozes onto her ass. She feels Dimitri's finger touching her, then moving further down to the crack of her ass.
He's whispering in her ear now.
"I can keep you from being pregnant, but you need to let me take you, in the other hole, the smaller hole."
She gasps. She's read about sodomy before. It's forbidden by the church.
"Will it hurt?" she says as she spreads herself wider to accommodate the wet and gentle finger at the entrance to her puckered hole.
"Yes. It will hurt, Ludmila, but it will please me so much and I need you so. It will hurt and then it will feel good. A thousand pinpricks, a thousand stars. We will be one. Let me in, let me relax you."
He is chanting now in a singsong voice. Ludmila's hips move back and forth in rhythm to the chants. Her ass muscles unclench as the finger moves within her. It is warm and odd.
"Won't I make a mess?" She's blushing now, yet her cunt is wetter than it's ever been and her tits are stiff.
"It might, but I'll clean you up," Dimitri says, his voice excited. "I'm not afraid of a little mess, are you?"
Ludmila is speechless as Dimitri reaches around with his other hand and lightly touches one of her nipples.
"Oh, so hard. Do you like it when I touch you there, my girl?"
Ludmila sighs. She's in heaven. She relaxes her ass even more as another finger slides in.
"Oh, yes. Oh please, yes." She's had Askot's fingers on her breasts before, but his were limp, tentative strokes. Dimitri is plucking her nipple, then twisting it. It hurts her, but it feels good. The fingers inside her feel odd. He adds a third. She feels so full now. She worries she might void herself all over his fingers. She can smell the slightly fetid scent of her own body.
"Lud mi la," he chants. "O pen. Re lax. Let. Me. In."
He pushes another finger inside her. Her fingers are still playing the small bud like a lute. Her other hand reaches down and she puts a finger inside her cunt.
"Let me taste it, Ludmila."
He presses his face toward her and she removes the finger from her cunt. It's dripping. His tongue licks at it and he moans.
"You're so loose girl. You're ready. I have to take your ass. Now."
He slowly removes his fingers and pushes his cock against the opening.
"That's right, sweet girl. You are such a good girl. O pen. Re lax. Yes…that's….right," he grunts as he inches his cock slowly into her. She wants so badly to please him. It hurts. She squirms, and that pushes his cock in deeper.
"Oh god," she screams. He waits, his cock still. He wants to push it so badly inside her. Wants to fuck her hard. He loves the sounds of her screams, but he takes a deep breath. He has to go slow. This girl will be the best ass fuck. Men will pay for that ass. Sweat from the back of her neck begins to drip down along her spine. He licks it up.
"You're warm, so warm," he says. "Let me in. O pen. Yes. More. Like that."
The pain has stopped briefly for Ludmila. She opens then. Yes, it does feel like a thousand tiny pins. She wonders briefly how he knows this. But it's just a flash. He shoves harder and she moves her hips. He moves in sync with her hips. He fucks her slowly.
The combined pressure of her fingers in her cunt and on her clit, plus his cock full and pressing inside her asshole are driving Ludmila wild. What is this feeling? This mounting tightness inside her. She can feel his cock pulsing too. She knows he will soon explode inside her and the thought arouses her even more.
"Yes," she says, not sure what exactly she is agreeing to.
He lets out a loud grunt and suddenly she feels the spurt of something hot and wet inside the tight passage of her ass. Her cunt is hot, pressurized. It feels almost like she has to make water, but different.
He grunts on and on, thrashing against her back. She moves faster now. Her hips like little hummingbird wings, so fast they're a blur as she humps and humps against her hand.
"Fuck," he says.
She's shocked but turned on. ‘Yes. I'm being fucked," she thinks. ‘Finally taken.'
She squeezes her eyes shut. The cock plunges deep inside her ass. Her fingers are pressed against her clit as she rubs it over and over. She sees red inside her eyes. The sun is bright, hot now. He grunts. She rubs her clit. The pressure is too much. She'll explode. She knows it. Yes. Explosion. Tight. Warm. Wet. All over her cunt and even inside her ass.
She screams. She's never felt this good. A thousand thoughts are running through her head all at once. She never wants this to end. She wants it over and over again. She thinks of other men. How it would feel to have them fucking her too. She's open, finally open. Open to the world. Open to adventure. Open to lust and any of its consequences.
Dimitri gets up and smiles at her. She should feel shy she realizes, but she doesn't. She feels womanly and wanton. Her flesh is swollen, wet, sticky, sweaty. She doesn't care.
Out in the hall, they hear the sounds of footsteps. Someone must have been listening in.
And that is how Ludmila meets Josef.
Dimitri opens the door and his friend is standing there smirking. Ludmila has covered herself up with the sheet, but Dimitri is still naked, the stain of her ass on his cock.
"Why am I not surprised to find you here, fucking, my friend?" Josef says.
"Come in, come in. Meet Ludmila."
Ludmila should be shocked at such openness but she's not. This is the world she's wanted. She smiles up at Josef. Remember that she has just been thinking of fucking other men and here is one now. He's a handsome rogue too: shorter than Dimitri, with firm muscular legs that she imagines wrapped round her hips. He's got curly black hair and dark eyes too. Ludmila licks her lips.
"Go kiss her tits. I have to find a maid, get some water heated for a bath."
Dimitri leaves them. Josef takes off his shirt. He's got thick black hair all over his chest. Ludmila is mesmerized. He's more beast than man. She blushes as she finds herself getting wet once more.
"I'd love to taste you. You smell like sex. Can I lick up Dimitri's cum from your cunt?"
"It's not there. I'm a virgin and I intend to stay that way. I don't want babies."
"We can fix that, sweetheart, but for now, let me lick your sweet cunt."
He drops to the bed and put his fingers on her wetness.
"You're a wet little slut, aren't you? Let me taste."
She gasps as she feels his tongue on her mound. Her hands reach down and grab his head, pulling him in closer. And that's how Dimitri finds them.
Dimitri sets the bucket full of hot water down on the night table. He's already cleaned up himself. He walks over to the couple.
"Enjoying yourself, Ludmila?"
"Oh yes, Dimitri."
Dimitri gazes down at Josef, watches his naked ass moving up and down against the edge of the bed.
"Hmmm two asses in one day." He finds some cream on the nightstand and rubs his cock in it then plunges into Josef's loose, well-used ass.
Ludmila is so turned on now she's ready to come again. Josef groans as Dimitri fucks his ass hard. Dimitri doesn't have to hold back with Josef. They've fucked many a time before. He can tell by the look in Ludmila's eyes that she's mesmerized. ‘This is the last time she'll give herself away for free,' he thinks as he pumps his cum into Josef's greedy little ass.
His cock is still hard when he takes it out and washes it off. Ludmila is on the verge of coming when Dimitri walks to the front of the bed.
"Open your mouth and suck my cock."
She is so wild at this point, she'll do anything. Josef keeps licking her, and he puts his fingers in her ass again. She knows Dimitri's cum is inside her still. She's never felt this uninhibited. She thinks of what her mouth has swallowed before: tiny delicate pieces of meat. This is no delicate meat, but a huge cock, like a long sausage. She's hungry for it. She tongues the length of it, rubs her teeth gently on it, then licks around the rim of the swollen and sperm-oozing cockhead. She tastes salt and jism. Her first taste of cock juice.
Dimitri shoves his cock in her mouth.
"Take it down your throat."
She does and gags. Josef gets up and stands over her on the other side of the bed, takes his hard cock in his hands. Before she knows it the two of them are coming. Dimitri down her throat and Josef all over her tits. She's writhing her hips.
Dimitri licks up the cum on her breasts while Josef goes back down on her and licks at her hard little clit. They're all writhing, moving together like serpents coiled in a barrel.
Ludmila's never felt this good in her entire life, this united, this secure, this aroused, this alive. When she comes she knows this is what it feels like to be the ocean, a tidal wave pushing up fathoms of water, shifting stones, churning and breaking its crest onto the hard black rocks on the shore, spilling over, flooding everything in its path.
Ludmila never looks back.
As a reward for her sweet co-operation, Josef finds them both passage to America on a steamship. Ludmila wishes she could suck a bunch of cocks on board, but Dimitri doesn't let her. Dimitri is always around, making sure no man takes her virginity. He's saving that for big bucks.
Ludmila, in the meantime, is wild for a fuck. You know how it is when you really want to be fucked. You just have to be fucked. She's like a bitch in heat, humping herself against every surface: the ship railings, the scratchy woolen sheets on the cots, even the helmsman's ship's wheel.
Dimitri won't let the other passengers or the sailors take her, he wants her aroused out of her mind by the time they arrive at New York Harbor and he wants her to be fresh, not some overused whore. It's a long journey.
Have you ever faced danger, felt like a moment will be your last? Then you know how easy it is to confess your soul to someone, even when you are normally tight-lipped and hold back. During the worst of the storms, when the ocean drops and rises, tossing the large steamship about like an insignificant pebble in a pond, Dimitri tells Ludmila about his life, including Berthe. He's never told anyone else that story. He doesn't want anyone to think he's some naïve fool. Ludmila says she will never hurt him like that. And he believes her, and realizes he can use this to his advantage. She becomes so selfless, even sucking his cock for him whenever he wants, and not expecting anything in return, letting him come all over her tits and her ass, and every once in a while, he takes her ass again, just to keep himself satisfied and her nice and hot.
He was worried that Ludmila wouldn't be able to handle the crossing and all the storms. He's heard a lot of women can't, but she surprises him. She thrives on the journey, is so excited and vivacious that the other travelers fall in love with her. He's had more than one man approach him, trying to inquire if they can buy a fuck. Oh he's tempted, so tempted to sell her right then and there and make some pocket money, but he doesn't want her to get a reputation. The types of gentlemen he has in mind won't want some floozy.
A friend of his had come back from New York recently and they'd talked about the possibilities, the rich men who wanted mistresses and were willing to pay a hefty cut to get them. Dimitri wanted to set Ludmila up in this way and also other women. He's been flirting with a few pretty girls on the journey, always careful not to let Ludmila see him when he touches them, gets them excited with just his voice and his hands on their young, trusting necks. His friend has told him it's a long shot, that he won't be let into the inner circles, but he's always been good at long shots, and besides, like Ludmila he's damn tired of boredom and the small villages.
Ludmila, for her part, loves every second of the journey but she's a bit annoyed at Dimitri. He's told her already that he doesn't mind it if she has sex with other men, but not until New York. There are so many handsome sailors on board and she wants them. And to tell you a little secret, she doesn't exactly obey Dimitri. Well she heeds the spirit, but not exactly the letter. One tall sailor in particular has lifted her skirts when they've stood at the railing, looking out at the ocean when everyone else was at dinner. He's knelt on the deck and licked at her cunt. Told her she was beautiful. How could she resist? She hasn't let him take her virginity though. But she's thought of offering him her ass, wondering if he'll think she's a pervert. For now, she plays the shy virgin and just lets him lick her, no fingers just his tongue. It's driving them both crazy.
Soon enough he's talking marriage and she considers it. He comes from some small American town. Sounds a lot like her own little village. In the end, she says no. She wants more. She wants men, lots of men fucking her, licking her, stroking her entire body and coming all over her. She also wants her own money and her independence. She's had time to think while on board the ship. Dimitri is becoming tiresome with his rules about what she can and cannot do.
And when do you think Dimitri chooses to tell her of his plans for her? You have to wonder about fate. If Dimitri had approached her at the beginning of their journey, perhaps Ludmila would have agreed easily, but she's spend days being worshipped by all manner of men, and being deprived of their company by a man who she thought she loved, but now she's not so sure. She's wondering if he's like Askot after all. She's seen him eyeing some of the female passengers, and even seen him with his arm around another, rather buxom girl.
When you are in danger, they say that your entire life flashes before your eyes, but there's another time when this happens too. When you see that you've been taken advantage of, when you finally see that the adoring lamb is really a wolf. Again. And you ask yourself how you could let yourself be fooled once more.
Ludmila realizes she's been dependent and naive once more and thinks again of Askot, and also of her boring life in the village. She doesn't want that anymore. She wants to create her own destiny. Dimitri has been the instrument of a massive change in her life, the move to America. But now she doesn't want to need him anymore.
She wonders how a girl like her can make money in a strange city where she doesn't speak the language. She has some ideas about getting a real education, not like the one she got in her small village, which consisted mostly of dancing and French lessons, and knowing the right hat and gloves to wear with her dress. Everyone always wanted Ludmila to be something other than what she was. And she knows now who she is: an attractive, intelligent woman with a sexual appetite. The world seems alive to her, alive with possibilities. Ludmila may just be ahead of her time.
It is at this moment that Dimitri approaches her with his plan.
"So I would sell my body and you would get the money?"
"I'd make sure you had enough and believe me, I'd be working, keeping you safe, only letting the right sort of gentlemen have access to your ass, and then when I've found a really rich man, I'll offer him your virginity."
Ludmila's throat is flush and her cheeks turn red.
"Is this what you've been planning all along? To make me your paid whore? Was I that vulnerable, that gullible, that naïve?" Her voice is rising and other passengers at nearby tables are looking at the two of them.
"You must be an idiot to think I would let you sell me."
He tries to stroke her arm, to quiet her, but she snaps it away.
Every person has a flaw, that's what we're told. Dimitri has one particular weakness. He hates being thought of as an idiot, being made a fool of by anyone. He sees red, his temper flies and his mouth becomes free with invective, everything he's been holding back about her comes out.
"Ludmila, you are already a whore and you know it. What else can a girl like you do? A slut, a woman who needs sex so badly, you'd offer yourself to every sailor on this ship for free if I let you."
She slaps him then and rushes away.
It's almost the end of the journey now. Dimitri searches the ship for her. Can't find her anywhere. Soon it's time to leave the ship, and Ludmila is still nowhere to be seen.
Dimitri walks off with the other girl, the buxom girl, trotting along at his side. 'Always have a plan B,' he thinks.
As to Ludmila and her whereabouts, perhaps she decides to marry her sailor. You might say that is unlikely and I'm inclined to agree with you. Perhaps she sets herself up as a madam or finds some other way to survive in the city. I'll let you use your own well-stretched imagination to decide for yourself. One thing you can be sure of is that she thrives.
Amanda Earl's sexually explicit fiction appears in anthologies by Cleis Press, Alyson Books, Thunder's Mouth Press, & Carroll and Graf. On line you can find her recent smut at lucreziamagazine.com and Lies With Occasional Truth. Her stories and musings on sex & sexuality can also be found at amanderotica.blogspot.com.