To the Artist's Page     To our home page

To Kaan Erkam's next piece

Memory

Don't be mad at me
for saying I saw your honey eyes too late.
It's true! 
I saw them for the first time
in the pictures on the fireplace in your house. 
My god, how beautiful you were!
So alive, 
so exciting
and so dangerous.

There's a hurry and chatter going on. 
Drinks, 
Raki flowing.
Everyone laughing. 
You are silent and dominant... 
But no one is aware that you're the focus. 
You pass by the mirror, 
your reflection in the mirror is transfixed. 
The meat is ready,
the brazier is out of gas again. 
Patiently waited for us to run out, no doubt. 
The tall beauty of a boy goes to fetch some, 
silent and respectful. The sodas are missing! 
Beside the door, by the phone... 
I see your eyes, looking at the other women around. 
Shining brightly,
how beautiful and alive!
Exciting!

I take my drink and come before the picture again. 
A deep intake and outlet of breath.
This will be our breath later on,
it'll stay with us and become quasi our symbol... 

As people often ask each other why? 
Why me, 
why him, 
why all this, etc. 

Our reason as to why 
is actually that we are of the same dimension
Time difference and all other things fly away.
Your deep and confident voice, suddenly changing views... 
Hey 
that girl in jeans 
in that black and white picture
is suddenly holding my hand.

Come on, she says.
Let's go.
"What? Where?" Before we know, we jump through the garden. 
The dogs are left staring at us.
There is my bike, you throw the helmet on the ground, 
"What have you done!?" I'm stuck with surprise 
"We'll get it later" you say.
I know, 
we will.

The wind is blowing on our faces. 
We don't care. 
We find a broken down tavern
by the lake...
We sit down, 
out of breath. 
But we calm down. 
Raki-you say.
Dry. 
Dry, OK... 
This OK will also stay
but some cross 
some not 

We don't know that either then, yet...

So,-you say 
tell me.
But you don't look at me. 
As you will so seldom do.
We are not tired then. 

You are patient with me.
I suddenly trust you. 
So warm, so close. 

I know what's eating you.
You're in the beginning of the road. 
The crossroads in two different directions.
One this way; and one that way. 
But you have to be on that side. 
You know. 
You'll stay on that side, I know.
But I can't confess it, even to myself. 
We understand. 

Suddenly you touch my shoulder. 
With that sincere smile, you say, 
"Aren't you coming?". 
"No" I say, 
"I'm staying here.
" Not understanding, 
you go to the table.
The laughter is everlasting. 

But we are somewhere else.

I decide to love you. 
And so I remain.

To the top of this page