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Ken's Funeral

Ken died last Monday. He was cremated. It was surreal. The whole family was present and he was in a cardboard box wearing his Hawaiian shirt. We put notes and flowers in the box. He wasn’t made up or embalmed but his fingers were blue. Other than that, he looked pretty good. It was kind of fun -- no sanctimonious idiot like a priest or anyone.

In the crematorium, there was this bone crunching machine with pipes and vices to crack the bones because they’re brittle when they come out, and still hot, but long, and need to be cracked up. The wizard behind the curtain turns on the furnace and says, "I want to get out of here; it’s 1500 degrees! If it’s not that hot, the body starts to smoke and the fire engines will be here quick as a flash!" (He was wearing some kind of fireproof get-up with a face shield and gloves.) Randi got to turn the lever to make the gas jets come on. We held Ken's hand and talked to him, and when the furnace was ready, we all helped push him into the flames. Then we went outside and looked at the smoke, went home, came back about an hour and a half later to pick up the ashes which were ready and still warm. Cost: 1300 dollars.

Later there was a fight. What was it about? Good question. I do know that Pammy wet her pants at some point during the excitement -- that Delia threatened to call the cops -- that the fight spilled out into the hallway -- that Pammy's older son broke it up -- that Pammy's younger son told her, "I'll be happy to push you into the fire."


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