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If This, Then That Or: First and Last Date Don't smoke unless she does. If she orders beef, do that too. Try to keep from telling her she is too good for Earth. Instead, impress her with interesting tidbits. "There is no such thing as a sugar high" And "It's sticky things, not sugar that rot your teeth." Do tell her you are in the process of being blown away by her charm if you need an excuse for an awkward shy spell. If you speak on movies and she mentions that Al Pacino is her favorite actor don't tell her that he over does it. Don't do your impersonation of him in Heat. That is, don's say, "Don't waste my mother fuckin time!" Or, "Oh yeah, and I'm Donald Duck!" If you speak on movies and she mentions that Al Pacino over does it and she laughs at your impersonation of him order bread. When the waitress brings it over, say "Thanks, Jesus." That way, the transition into your bible joke will be smooth. "If you read the bible backwards it says size doesn't matter". If she laughs she likes you. No laughter means you absolutely have to tell her you are in the process of publishing your first novel. This, she will love. Be sure and make some contact as you leave the restaurant. That is, touch her side. When she touches back, hold her hand.
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