Out with the Old...
by Sub-commandante X

<Antonia came into my awareness, the second time around, kinda like the way dawn cracks the night. Everything changes – ever so slowly, but none-the-less, absolutely.

She was young, beautiful, and pregnant when we first met. We have a history that goes back to Venice, California in the 70’s. Now she’s mature, like fine wine, more beautiful than ever, and open to a life together.

The Vietnam War was raging its surrealistic horror in the Nam, and on TV, when I was discharged in 1969. The idea was to help young people stay out of the military, so I clipped a coupon from the back of a magazine and become a minister.

It was easy and cost just $20. At the time I only had about $30, but it was the least I could do. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to save one soul from the war. But somehow, today, it looks like the best investment I ever made.

When my friends, Antonia and Billy Jay, wanted to get married, I told them, “I could do it, and it’d be legal.”

Standing on Venice Beach that morning, I conducted my first (and last) wedding ceremony. As family and friends congratulated the happy couple, I remember thinking that Antonia was an exceptionally fine, quality person.

And further, the thought came to me,

“In a more perfect world, she should be with me, and not my speed freak friend.”

I reasoned at the time, that it was just a passing thought. But 30 years later, I still remember it vividly.

After a somewhat awkward reunion of 3 days and two nights, we finally kissed. And, it was then I realized, I’d loved this woman for a long, long time.

She wasn’t pregnant this go-around. And, she’d just filed to make her current divorce final. ‘Out with the old and in with the new’, you might say.

Yeah, I may be dumb, but I ain’t stupid. I snatched her up fast. Our first spat was over whether I would continue my hippie ways (“everything is everything”), or, would I commit to being with her.

Well, I slept on it. (Literally, and in a manner of speaking.) With the morning, I came to my senses. My Mexican-California beauty had gotten away from me once, I was not going to let that happen again.

It’s all in the moment, not in the wishing or hoping, that’s important. It’s the experience that counts.

Our mutual experience is from the past, and the present. Our potential together is one of expanding love and caring.

Our future couldn’t be brighter. We have thirty years of being apart to make up for. (After that we’ll re-negotiate.)

Sub-X is a survivor of the radical '60s. These days he's attempting to get beyond the 'Them' and 'Us' duality of Conflict Consciousness. Trying to eliminate conflict from one's reality is a lot like dealing with alcohol. It's an on-going process. Currently, Sub-X seeks solutions and asks, "Why not more beauty, love, and joy?" We know we can do so much better. OK, so why not? Write him at johnech@mindspring.com