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Independence Day

Nathan was searching for experiences.

He went to a leftist camp, to a nature camp, to a revival camp meeting.

At the leftist camp they gave out little Red Books, at the nature camp Nathan played in the nude. At the camp revival there was only the Bible.

At the socialist camp Nathan had to memorize all the Chairman’s sayings, at the nature camp he lost his virginity, and at the camp meeting he regained his sense of humor, especially about religion.

At a state park in Virginia he met Patti and Matt, their son Linus and daughter Priscilla (the Rogers). They were handing out gospel tracts and invited Nathan to their camp meeting.

At the revival believers were praising God with tambourines and dancing.

Nathan was skeptical.

Priscilla had a crush on him but hardly ever talked.

“My daughter isn’t mute, just shy, Nathan. Linus was in the Royal Rangers.”

“I was in the Young Pioneers.”

“Those are Reds, Nathan,” exclaimed Mrs. Rogers.

“I know.”

Patti continues: “I hope you repented. I used to be Roman Catholic, you know. I had to be spiritually delivered from the statues, the crosses, the relics, the holy water, the shrines. I had to escape from those nuns who used to hurt my delicate piano-playing hands when they hit me with their beads.”

Matt looks uncomfortable; he’s heard this story a thousand times before.

“Oh, yes, the nuns used to tell me that every time I told a white lie my soul was becoming blacker. Then I met my hubby here, Matt. He had just done his duty in Vietnam. He’d found God.”

“Oh, really, Mrs. Rogers?”

“Loved him from the start. Isn’t he handsome? My Linus takes after him. The spittin’ image.”

Linus intervenes. Nathan is sweating from the melting heat.

“Can we get some soft drinks?”

“No, boys,” says Patti. “Just stick together. I don’t want you lost.”

As the unruly crowd stormed the church tent a man in a wheelchair tipped over.

Patti turns to her husband. “I wish, Matt, they would pray right now. I don’t like these accidents. Wouldn’t want it to leak out to the press.”

Matt folds his hands in prayer.

“Honey, let’s pray for all our safety. Let’s read Psalm 91,” says Matt.

Priscilla takes Nathan’s hand and smiles up at Nathan with her eyes closed. She’s a lamb like me, Nathan thought.

During the service the man in the wheelchair got up off the ground and proclaimed he was healed. Others spoke in tongues. One gentleman roared like a fire engine, and another like a lion, and then prophesied.

Then it was time for the church banquet. The surplus food was a bit dated. Nathan wondered why he was here. He and Linus headed for the outhouse running all the way. Nathan knew how popular a guy Linus was and yet there was something mysterious about him.

Linus pulls Nathan towards him. “You know, Nathan, they are gonna prophesy after the picnic. They’ll probably find out things about us. It kind of scares me, though I know God knows about it anyway.”

“I told you, Linus, I had sex with a girl at nature camp.”

“Well, my experience was different.”

Nathan suddenly looked up at the tanned, varsity star athlete.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does to me,” says Linus, looking down.

Nathan and Linus took a leak in the wooden outhouse. Nathan felt a little self-conscious when he realized Linus liked him that way.

“I want to be friends, Linus.”

“I could never tell anybody in the family. They’d throw me out of the house.”

“How do you know that?”

“I can tell, even though they keep talking about unconditional love they think gay stuff is the unpardonable sin.”

“I know what you mean.”

“I spent hours praying and fasting but the feelings don’t go away, Nathan. I’ve read that it’s a sickness and can be healed.”

“You aren’t sick, Linus.”

“I convinced myself that it was a weakness, but I’m not weak.”

“I know you’re not, Linus.”

“Nathan, you’re honest. That’s what I like about you.

“I used to say to God, take the G out of me; that G and Jesus don’t mix. Then I worry that someone at the camp meeting will find out through God and make me confess. You remember the Scarlet Letter we read in English class last year? It scared the heck out of me. I know Priscilla is in love with you.”

Nathan looks at Linus.

“Couldn’t you tell her about your sexuality?”

“No. She looks up to me. And she looks up to you because you’re the coolest guy in the high school. I think so too.”

“Then why didn’t you ever talk to me in the Caf until I met your family in the park?”

“It’s a jock thing.”

“Oh, I see.”

“Right. I could fantasize in gym about guys in jock straps, Nathan, but I couldn’t talk about it. You know I am only a talk jock.”

A whole crowd of people in the huge tent are being prayed over. A big woman comes over to Nathan and says she has found gold dust as a sign from God. She looks at their name tags.

“Look at the gold dust, brother,” Linus whispers to Nathan.

“It’s only dust. It’s in her imagination.”

“Listen, brother Nathan, are you Jewish?” asks the large lady.

Nathan smiles.

“Only half of a half, but the best part.”

Linus laughs.

She comes over closer to inspect Nathan. “You are a part of the body of Christ, right? What tribe are you from?”

“The human race.”

“Well, you are a partner in Christ. You are saved, aren’t you?”

She calls out to a big man named John Henry.

“John Henry, this young man won’t know if he will be in hell or heaven. Lead him to God.”

“I’d like to be left alone right now,” says Nathan, sinking into the chair.

“John Henry, tell him, he could die tonight, and where would he be?”

“I’d be dead, lady.”

“Call me Sister Misty.” She holds out her hand.

“Sister Misty, you’re a peach,” Linus says out loud.

“She’s one big crazy Christian,” Nathan whispers to Linus.

“And you, Brother Linus, are you with God or Satan?” asks John Henry.

Linus pulls Nathan away but Misty says to Nathan, “Nathan, even if you were the only young man alive Jesus would die for you. God loves you boys more than you’ll ever know.”

Brother John Henry goes and gives Nathan a big black Bible and a hug.

Nathan thanks Sister Misty and John Henry for the Bible. They walk away.

“Linus, I’ve been enjoying myself. I like to meet different people.”

“You didn’t come from a Christian family. I’d like to join Fundamentalists Anonymous.”

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