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I have a fantasy
in which the gun enters my mouth
and blows off my scalp,
not the back of my head or anything,
just the scalp in a crown-shape,
nice and neat.

I have this fantasy
while walking up and down the hall
unable to sleep any further
but disinterested in any other activity.

It's kind of a low, distant noise
and a pressure in my ears
that tells me my medication
is either too weak
or too strong
and always will be
until I can no longer walk
up and down the hall