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Drowned wavy blue- i can just make you out, long dead at the bottom of the sea. you'd think that once it killed you, i would have left- put on my clothes and walked away... but i'm still checking your pulse even though your arm rotted off long ago and i'm still sucking your cock even though it's all been swallowed. i'm still treading water, holding my breath , looking for pennies in the muck at the bottom. and i'm not moving on and i'm just beginnnig to realize that this isn't some mysterious sea but possibly a fucking swamp. and maybe i'm not a mermaid and maybe you weren't my prince and maybe i need to breathe or maybe i need to drown... it's always so cold when i get out of the water so i dive right back in where it's comfortable. i'm comfortable here- in your watery grave. i've forgotton how to breathe. i've forgotton how to swim. i've forgotton everything- except for you and you stay with me and you won't just die... once i looked up and saw the surface- the garish sun beating down. i can't live there. i can't even die there. i can't find my way out. i can't find the shore. i don't even know which direction it is in. i don't know what humans do- i don't know how to touch someone that touches back. i don't know how to move without fighting the resistence of this water, this weight, this burden this pile of deep shit you left me in.
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