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No, we never planned it that way
But it so happened this seventh summer
I took my twelve-year-young son
To my father's native village among hairless hills
In the far east end, the other side of the world
Which he had left as a starving orphan
And returned with me in the Mao suit
Like a magic-toyed boomerang When we were both at Allen's age
For the first times in our lives
Last time, my father forced the Little Red Guard in me
To kowtow, burn joss sticks and paper money secretly
For his parents, whose dialect had survived
Though I understood it only half-heartedly
This time, I cajoled my boy to grasp a handful of earth
From the grave of my grandma worshipped by villagers
(Her humaneness has supposedly made her a local deity)
And smuggle it to the backyard of our home in Vancouver
Like some foreign seeds prohibited at the customs
As we departed, again, our clan elder chanted:
Under the shade of a new highway This old grave will soon be erased...
All my life is a preparation for this moment
So, please remove all these pipes and needles
(Meant to nail and chain me in this earthy cell)
Feed me with no more food, drink or fluid
(They are nothing less the poison to my mind)
Stop quilting me with any blankets or bed sheets
(For my spirit is warm enough to rise like a balloon)
More important, keep talking or playing a yani to my ears
(They are my final exit from this crowded room)
Ok, now, let it be right against light
Let me use my might to think bright
Shrinking all my shaded consciousness
Into a tiny transparent dot, and remind me
To become a god rather than a ghost
Into the backyard
Of my humble heart
I transplanted three nameless trees
One blossoms in spring
And bears fruit in summer
One wrestles with winds and rains
On each less bright day
But the third does nothing
Except standing idly there
Up towards a distant star
Changming Yuan works as a college English tutor in Vancouver and has had nearly 200 poems published or forthcoming in (for example) Descant (CA), The London Magazine (UK), Offcourse, Porcupine, Private (IT), Sentence, and Snorkel (AU); his first little chapbook is coming out soon from Narrow House.