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   History, n. An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools. —Ambrose Bierce


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New Romantic Age
by AE Reiff

Maybe it was the influx of little brown bugs coincident with a loss of common sense, but doctors became oblivious to nurses, actors swooned at their rehearsals and checks bounced around from bank to bank, pankity, pankity, pank.

There had been occasions like it before, Platonists reported sightings of pure idea breaking into the world, economists plotted backwards graphs and businesses gave away little bags of cash in return for incongruous imaginary items.

I was just waking up that day when I saw the neighbor lady watering down the street. She said she hoped the neighborhood would grow. One tended not to believe in coincidence any more. I began to fill gallon jugs of water for the elephants downtown, and what else, apples and coconuts for the horses. I threw in some slices of baloney for the tiger and lettuce for the tame parakeet.

For some reason they are taking blood samples at roadblocks on the Interstate. Many have abandoned their cars. The IRS came on and said the Japanese were trying to sell more cars than America and that unless measures were taken we would lose a billion. Many counter charges flew about, some exploding like anti-aircraft fire, while others broke through into peoples' minds.

"Conquer minds and heart will follow," said TR, but epidemic romance contradicted that. Neighborhoods began to chat. Children played openly in yards as the menace dire turned out to be liar and the army left the road. Thieves went to work, of which there was plenty since philanthropists were hiring sorties to take them to the unknown parts of town where they could give away their money. I guess you read about it in the paper.

One said, I want treasure in heaven so tonight I'd as soon eat steamed zucchini. Men and women became distinguished by their charity, gave away rings and watches and went around summer nights caroling.

When all's said and done the saying's true that Justice's age gives everyone his due. The rich got around the golden rule by giving away pounds for pennies. A whole new pattern of living on earth had begun and that's the way the rest of time would run.


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AE ReiffAE Reiff says, "This piece is part of a larger effort being reserved on future orbital missions to put in stable orbit around the Earth these pages embossed in some permanent medium like asbestos."