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Narcotics and Knives

I think that if I were to get rid of my television, I would add about 20 years to my life.
Which is precisely why I sleep with it on every single night.
I spend my time pecking away on my keyboard,
like the chicken that I am
and pacing the floor, 
chain-smoking to keep my hands away from the knife.

Fast food, narcotics, cigarettes, carbon monoxide, moths are everywhere
and there’s light bulbs over my lipstick…
Keeping my hands away from the knife.
Even the cutting edge poets have dulled their senses so much that they 
just can’t fall down low enough.

But I can’t say these little white pills haven’t been a friend of mine,
especially if I’m already laying down

The darkness even keeps me from the knife
and today it hurts me to the moon and back
a moon which I don’t believe in anymore.

I just can’t die fast enough.
 

And if it weren’t for the music I can sometimes get from the words,
I would’ve traded my pen in for a bottle years ago.

And the ones of us who truly feel every second of ever hour of every day,
will probably be left here the longest.

I choose between Narcotics and Knives everyday.

Today, it’s great to be high.
Tomorrow, I’m gonna flip a coin.

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