Hungry Hearts and Confused Minds, or, Another Way to Act
by Sub-commandante X

Paul Butterfield used to sing a blues riff that went,

“I been in love with another man’s wife, don’tcha know?” Yeah, I know.

Well, time comes when y’gotta cut your losses. No matter how pretty she looks on your arm. Starting down the road on my own, again.

What’s different this go-around? Every thing. Every time is the first time. You know.

It wasn’t my place to get on the floor with her. And, she didn’t see fit to climb into bed with me.

We were in another movie. Me – her benefactor and friend. She – a perfect lodger, perfect guest and a fellow seeker.

But, how did I know that I’d attract her? All I can say, is that I was hoping real hard.

Before the stretch marks, the scars, and the years took their toll, she was drop-dead-gorgeous. That much is obvious.

I just call her precious.

The lines from a Dylan tune come to mind,

“She’s everything I need in love, but I can’t be swayed by that.”

Maybe I wasn’t quick enough to see it, but she was just playing me like a fiddle, from the start. Now, I see it.

It was hard to figure out why she declined my bed, when I so gallantly offered it. Seven months later, when she caught the northbound out of town, I think I understand.

“You know, if you didn’t exist, I would’ve had to invent you,” I told her. (And, she’s a first rate writing coach, too.)

“You did invent me,” she smiled.

We have a dream date in progress, to Italy or, a meet-up in a crude salon. One way or the other, get there we will.

It was a new experience for me. I’d never been tangled up with respect for a woman I hadn’t slept with first.

OK, I’m old enough to know better, but I didn’t even think it was possible. And, if it was, why would you want to?

Well, creative folks know. And, if you’re lucky, you’ll find out.

Brace yourself. The vision came to me in a Laundromat up the block. Claro, the need is to teach/guide the hungry hearts and the confused minds out there (and in here).

The need extends from latest school shooting, to the next 'liberation’ Car bombing. It don’t matter how ‘justified’, confused or pissed off you are.

The time of the ‘lone wolf’ is over, say the elders of the Hopi Nation. And, you might add, that the time of the armed infidel is over too. Let alone, the ‘preemptive armed response’.

We gotta find another way to act. It exists now, just like it always did.

It might be true I don’t know her in the biblical sense. But, I love her anyway. And I thought it was over.

But I’ve never missed anyone like this before, and I don’t like it. But I can’t worry about that now.

Can’t even bother about being connected to the ex-wife of one of my youth’s personal sports’ favorites. And, he remains a sports favorite of mine.

Still, “Everything passes and everything changes, just do what you think you should do,” like they say. I just know I work and play so well off her conscious feminine energy. Gotta have it.

Sub-X is a survivor of the radical '60s. These days he's attempting to get beyond the 'Them' and 'Us' duality of Conflict Consciousness. Trying to eliminate conflict from one's reality is a lot like dealing with alcohol. It's an on-going process. Currently, Sub-X seeks solutions and asks, "Why not more beauty, love, and joy?" We know we can do so much better. OK, so why not?