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Stopping Traffic

a leaf crawls across the asphalt,
stopping traffic

carried by the same gentle breeze
that shifts cloudscapes
in the summer sky

(slowly)

and i wonder at why
i can’t clear my mind
like an escher-sketch

(a gentle shake)

sending my mind to
‘go fetch’
a moment of peace

or even a small bite of

      now

like some cow sandwich
from mcburger place
winding its way through my

(what was that labeled?)

‘digestive space?’

because my mind is full
and gravity’s pull is insisting
that something be released
or at least let go for a time
before it is re-leased

increased hours in
support groups
flower in my mind
and remind me of times
when all i wanted
was to release it all

(everything)

but did i heed
that
particular
call?

of course not.

i only wonder
at why
i can’t just start
all over again

(fresh page)

(clean slate)

i shake my head
like an escher-sketch,
but it only jumbles everything up
and confuses me

it amuses me to ponder
why this thing didn’t come
with a

      ‘flush’

lever
like my toilet

(somewhere)

anywhere i find myself
i’m still right there beside me,
craning my neck to see
what’s going on
outside

(while)

inside
the box
it’s dark

they’ve cut the power
to my generation generator
again

on some pretense of ‘non-bill payment’
or ‘inconvenience.’
how convenient.

and for the life of me, i can’t remember
having even met bill, to say nothing of
inconveniencing him

so i get in my car
thinking i’ll drive to escape,
shake the thoughts loose
on the wide open road

and crawl out of a noose
that i have a sneaky suspicion
was crafted by my own hand
one single strand at a time

woven from thoughts
that
somehow
got out of line

and then i see a leaf
wending its way slowly
across the asphalt,
and the traffic stops behind me.

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