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Nail Soup

i had been walking for a long time
the sun had been moving and i could see the shadows in full
rotation when i closed my eyes and tried to remember
what happened the day before

i was out of tobacco so i chewed a nail
i was hungry and my stomach pressed and played, bagpipes full of water
and goldfish played with a fingerless hand
metaphors in my head were wandering, and then i realized i wasnt so hungry as much as
tired and confused
i had done something wrong with my brains and wanted to sleep

i sat on the stairs
an old woman about six feet tall wearing a stained pink overcoat with hair jutting out
unwashed and uncombed approached me with a shopping cart
some time passed,i think it was a long time,i must have had my head down and had been
making a scene
the neighborhood i was in wasnt a slum but it wasnt as classy as the eyes of the wheezing
faces that pumped down at me from the windows as if i had my dick in my hand and were
spleen for all to see

she took me by the arm,and i twisted and twitched in terror
i followed her into her apartment and we sat at a table in a tidy, nearly empty kitchen
with pink place mats
she was drinking water out of a plastic cup
she got me some water
she smoked a cigarette, and offered me one
luxury lights 120, menthol
it swung around in her mouth as she chewed like a wet torch
i watched the smoke it wove in the air and began to dream
i set down my cigarette
do you have anything to eat? 
i asked
"turn on the stove, that should be done shortly
she pointed to a pot with the lid on sitting on the stove
i turned on the oven
i opened the pot and it was full of boiling water
she didnt look up from the table
she chain smoked another
i threw my nail into the water and sat down at the table
i smoked tobacco and drunk water
the windows were dirty, but light came through them

i reached over and took her cigarette and put it out
i pushed her coat open with my finger nervously
she wore a tank top stained with swet on her chest
it stuck to her body
i thought a moment i might boil her shirt and have the broth
i removed her coat and set it on the table folded
then i asked her to stand up
she did and i removed her shirt
i thought a moment that she probably mistook me for someone
i heard stories of old women taking in young men off the street from sentimental men
and i read some
maybe she read something like that in readers digest 
i could hear three different televisions through the wall
i lead her into her bedroom and she lay on her bed without looking up from the silent
brush of carpet 
the carpet looked like a husk of dead insects 
i removed my erect penis from my pants, and stroked it a few times
then i pulled her shorts off and mounted her
her arms latched weakly around my neck perfunctorily
sometime before i came they went limp fell 
after i came i took some of her cigarettes and went outside,looking for a place where i
could sit with my head down and 
not be bothered by anyone

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