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I mostly mean 

I sat, trembling 
for what else could I do? 
this desire has taken me 
there's no way to explain 
I'm consumed by fire 
I dreamt of you 
inside me 
surround me 
in my dreams 
I'm not in control 
and it terrifies me 
and it excites me 
my faith is suspect 
how many more times will it let me down? 
there's not much difference 
between a "no" and a "yes" 
I mostly mean "yes" 
I mostly mean "no" 
my hope is crushed 
but my feelings remain 
so what do I do 
who do I tell 
where do I go 
how do I sleep again 
you're in my nightmares, too

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