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Harebrained As a direct approach to learning, I've taken a straight razor to my hairline and peeled back the scalp. I am now inserting the literary works of Homer, Hemingway, and Dickens. Perhaps I'll toss in some philosophy as well. Plato, Socrates, and, ah yes, Aristotle. The last bare spot's reserved for Freud, atop my oblongata. Now it's time to sew the close, and seal in the knowledge, but the thread is badly tangled and my eyes are full of blood.