Unlikely 2.0


   Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious. —Ambrose Bierce


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The End of Unlikely 2.0

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Three Poems by Jonathan Hayes

Checking Email

My girlfriend
and my publisher,

which one
do I delete first?




Full Morning Drunk

A computer still has porn in it

And the t.v. has a netflix movie leftover

The dealers are back out on market street —

I return to last night's desk

And its strategic battlefield

Of a vicious circle.




The Japanese Death Poem at Halftime during the NBA Finals As seen from our seats

The itty-bitty roach runs up my $2.00 "out the door" High Life forty
circling the piss yellow fat sweating glass bottle.

Then it disappears. I pound the desk with my Pillsbury Dough Boy fist, but the stubborn and stubby little roaches are young and dumb and awfully annoying, and come back most certainly always.

And the funny thing is that if they can survive a nuclear bomb,
how come they don’t climb up my silver radiator, which is keeping
my Subway foot long Philly cheese steak warm and cheesy and
crunch toasty with its bubbling and hissing of water and steam.

"How come?" in a Craig Ferguson 'Late Late Night Show' voice.


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Jonathan Hayes lives inside a permanent fog bank located inside his rent-controlled apartment in San Francisco, California.


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