he leaves skid marks in the toilet
he has impeccable timing
always going in to take a shit
while people are eating their lunches
he leaves skid marks
he sits on the crapper and moans and grunts
while people set down their sandwiches
their forks and knives
and sit there disgustedly
waiting for him to stop
he leaves skid marks
they are all the rage around this place
they talk about his skid marks
as their lunches sit
as some of them get up to leave
too disgusted by human bowel movements
to enjoy their food
as he moans and prays for release on the shitter
probably choosing this time on purpose
because they all talk behind his back
they talk about his skid marks
and his impeccable timing
always coming in to take a shit
when the lunchroom is full of people
they post notes begging people to flush twice
thinking that it will stop him
but he still leaves skid marks
when he leaves the bathroom
a few of them brave the smell
to go in there and look into the commode
if there are skid marks
they are happy
they are proven right
and thus validated in this sad world
they come back out into the lunch area
and scream and shout
skid marks!
he left skid marks again!
like he murdered someone's mom
then they all sit down to their uneaten food
and talk about his skid marks
they talk shit
until the lunch hour ends
and they all have to go back out
to do their miserable jobs
for at least another four hours
of another long
and unforgiving day
never leaving skid marks
never doing anything untoward themselves.
i listen to her talk
about the shooting at the beach
that had made the news in the last week
she says, you know what i think?
which when being asked by a human being
can never mean anything good
i think they should stop selling all of that booze
at those seaside bars, she says
it's the alcohol that makes them all nuts
carrying on and shooting each other
and it's not just the beer
it's those fruity drinks that they sell
the ones that come in those
fancy-shaped plastic glasses
those are the ones that really get them going
and you know they aren't checking i.d.'s, she says
those beach bar bastards are only out to make a profit
what do they care if some idiot gets drunk
on beer or their sweet grain alcohol
and then goes off to kill a bunch of people?
i tell you the world's not right anymore, she says
which is a lie
the world has always been wrong
because it's only been run by human beings
we need something else
or nothing at all
they oughta ban that alcohol, she says
they oughta put up cameras too
maybe if there's cameras everywhere
people will think before they act, she says
she's a good woman, i suppose
she votes and has kids
she goes to the beach and eats hot dogs on the fourth of july
she probably holds her farts
and makes love to her husband a few times a year
to keep him quiet
she believes in jesus and fears god
she's the perfect american fool
but i know i'll never be lucky enough
to get her drunk ass in the crosshairs of a gun
on the wrong side of a saturday night
and to be quite honest
that thought depresses the hell out of me.
it comes like clockwork
the minute we get out of the tunnel
and the subway car races across the bridge
the moment there is a pocket of light
and a wireless connection
it seems that the whole train is checking
their cell phones or other gadgets
whatever did we do before these things arrived?
it's funny
watching dozens of people do this simultaneously
pull out sleek metal devices
and go to work
it makes you feel important
being on a subway car
with so many sought after people
the old chinese lady punching in a text
the black kid getting a signal and playing music
for the whole train to hear
the white girls all picking up their phones
at the same time
chattering inanely over some sundry weekend plan
gone awry in the ten minutes they were underground
i feel a sense of purpose standing there
doing nothing but going somewhere
as the cacophony of sound from everyone's ring tone
goes off at once
infesting the silence
surely this must enhance the view
of the brooklyn bridge, i think
because i do not have a device currently
congregating with the others in the din
so i'll never truly understand this fated moment of glory
but i believe
we are all so important this morning
texting, typing, talking about nothing in particular
selecting another dance song for everyone to hear
whether or not they want to
we are all so important
surely not the mongrels we pretend to be
during the work week
sitting on our hind legs at jobs
taking orders from nobody's in cheap suits
having tired dinners
as the tired tv plays
we are the kings and queens of this great land
in contact with everyone at once
needed
requested
wanted
at least until the train goes underground again
and we lose the signal
are left suddenly alone and mortal
left with nothing but our thoughts
each other
and the racing black void
of time and space
until we are above ground
the great well-connected heroes of our
own life's drama
once again.
Check out John's blog at WineDrunkSidewalk.blogspot.com.