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His face is all screwed up
pained
maybe it makes the sex better
that he put himself through
such torment
eyes closed
head down
he fiercely whispers
take it out
with a whimpered moan
straining through the denim
of his baggy jeans
I should say no
but I love it so
it’s fat enough
with a pinkish
band around a chocolate shaft
suits me fine
neither of us will feel better after
he guilt laden
me frustrated
not really finishing
what I shouldn’t have started
but I had to get even
after false prayers
to his Jesus
just to appease him
now he worships with me
physical need
my religion.
I never succeeded at much
but I made it here
and want to celebrate
It is boring I’ll admit
my classmates’ asses
are no doubt sweaty and numb
like mine
from hard plastic
and Middle School stage lights
our High School so small
we had to borrow an auditorium
for our little graduation
we glow in red robes
outfits underneath
painstakingly picked out
we come from families
that don’t graduate much
my black dress boosted off Haight Street
pushed deep into a ripped pocket trench
but I’m graduating
never seemed possible
I just kept showing up not because
I had dreams and goals
I just had nothing better to do
got more action with the brothas at school
a few onstage with me now
I fucked and shared 40s with
sold stolen dime sacks to
My parents three thousand miles away
but I have family in the audience
my aunt and her boyfriend
a couple of my drop-out friends
they’re all tweaking
from the stage I can see them
ducking in and out of their seats
to do lines of speed in the bathroom
later they will complain
about how long and boring the ceremony was
and I will ignore them
and their drugs
drinking mine (rot gut Cisco)
from a bottle
getting rip-torn enough
to stop wondering
what the hell
I’m gonna do next.
Cassandra Dallett lives in Oakland, California. She mother to four kids and two pit bulls. She finds them all loving and loyal, but says you never know when one of them will bite the mailman, or the Spanish teacher. When not cooking for her army she writes poetry and short stories of memoir. Cassandra has published in Cherry Bleeds, Street Spirit, Opium Poetry 2.0, Gutter Eloquence, Ascent Aspirations, Criminal Class Review, Poetry Super Highway, Nibble, The Milvia Street Journal, and The Beat Museum of San Francisco.