Pellatier went to his friend Tom's house to watch an NBA playoff game. He mentioned the search for the Sardine and Tom, reflexively, asked:
"Did you Google him?"
Yes, well, John was searching vigorously.
"You're kidding? You never used Google. It's the premier search engine on the Internet."
"I know."
"You want to find him, don't you?"
"In my own way."
"You have traveled ten thousand miles looking for the stupid fish and all you had to do was drop a virtual net into the waters...."
After a half-hour of abuse, John relented and went with Tom to the den. Tom logged on, found Google for John, went to the Advanced Search with the exact phrase, and googled.
"Three hundred and twenty-nine hits," Tom said proudly.
In fact, only 18 solid, non-redundant hits appeared.
John grew anxious. Had "a sardine on vacation" more currency in the language than he had imagined? Curiously, several of the hits referred to the Sardine and newspapers in New Jersey. He clicked on one for the Atlantic City Press.
"Hey," Tom exclaimed, "your favorite Internet column is appearing in print."
It was as if the Sardine feature were cheating on Pellatier, living a covert existence in hard copy. But the appearance of the column at the Jersey shore did not surprise him. John had tracked Benny McSelf, the entertainer at the Sardine's hangout, The Attic Tavern, to Atlantic City. The Sardine could not be far away.
He turned away from the computer, thanked Tom, and left. He sat in his car and allowed the dizziness to pass. How close he had come to having his pursuit end in a flash, without even realizing it was ending. None of the websites contained biographical data. He would have to find the sardine the old-fashioned way.
*
This brings us to his other quandary with the Sardine columns: not necessarily distinguishing the factual from the fictional but, after separating the false from the true, figuring out how the layers overlapped.
Reading "Obsolete Innovations", he saw not only that the Sardine's negative attitude and misanthropic posturing were merely a game but that the Sardine tended to blend several experiences into one column's action.
Yes, he was better understanding his quarry's creative mind. With patience, Pellatier could unveil the true character who composed the column; he could have the identity of the Sardine in his hands.
What did he hope to gain? He hadn't thought about it much. Not for an autograph.
Maybe the hope that he would be included in the column as a character! A normal, nice kind of guy to round out the crew at the Attic.
Pellatier also cherished the notion of being the ONLY ONE to really know the Sardine. For, why was his identity kept secret except for the fact that the Sardine must be important. Hopefully, knowing who the Sardine is wouldn't affect the status of the column. He would take an oath of secrecy. It was only important for John to know.
*
With each new Sardine column, Pellatier thought he knew the Sardine better. John was like the rest of the readers during the early pieces, put off by the cranky attitude and iconoclastic opinions. The more closely he studied every word and line, the more sense the articles made to him, crescendoing with one stating that the majority is always wrong.
Most people think he's crazy looking for the Sardine. He could lose his job over someone whom so few care to know about! His family tells John he'll never get married if he doesn't stay in one place. His girlfriend broke up with him when he went to Europe to follow the Sardine (he wasn't certain whether she was more angry at not being taken along).
Everyone applied the pressure. To break his determination.
Maybe no one more forcefully tried to stop John's search for the Sardine than the Sardine himself!
Unconsciously, of course.
Who could blame the fish? His becoming famous would make John's task much easier. What else would explain the Sardine's shunning any kind of promotion of the column, say, like resisting television interviews.
But he will not stop and will ignore everyone's advice. The Atlantic City Press editor said that the Sardine's contract prevented any mention of his real name.
*
The Law, the ultimate social pressure. The whip of the wrongful majority.
"It's the Sardine's choice," the editor chief added.
"Do you know the column's on the Internet?"
"Yes, it is in our contract. The Sardine maintains the right to publish the articles in any venue that does not turn a profit."
"Aren't you worried that it will steal readers away from the column in the papers?"
"Let me tell you something, young man, people prefer pictures on the Internet to words."
Others advised John it wouldn't be a good thing to reveal the truth and dispel a basic element of the mystery of the Sardine.
He argued back: as long as a majority did not know who the Sardine was, it was wrong for not knowing. The column was cheating the Public.
When everyone knew who the Sardine was....
That would be the best test of the column's principles. Would the Sardine persist after being exposed? Pellatier was enabling the Sardine to see himself for what he really was.
Of course, he would first discuss these possibilities with the Sardine, later on, over a drink or two. Maybe the other characters in the column could vote on it.
The Sardine's essays, articles, and stories have appeared around the Internet in the last few years at 3 A.M., Facets, Eclectica magazine, Fiction Funhouse, The Fiction Warehouse, 5_trope, and several film journals. Who and what he is probably will be revealed at various points through the articles appearing at this site. The first fifteen installments of his saga can be viewed at the old Unlikely Stories.